..Thats also how I think I got the lyrics from MIAs Paper Planes Sharpeed on my ass? Maybe.
just found out my sister was breast fed and i was not...pretty upset about that.
bro, sorry for: trying to put you on fire yesterday, telling the bouncer that it was you that broke the bottles, and to have slept with your sister.
Also, you peed on your hand last night. Id just like to point that out
don't trust your eyes. just sniff them. if they smell like axe, they are broke, move on to the next.
I have to be at work in a hour. Can you sufficiently fuck me in 35 minutes?
Dude, I puked in the stall for God knows how long. Halfway through, a kid sits down in the stall next to me and starts jacking off, i heard the porn on his phone and everything. so FYI, the middle stall is where good nights go to die
Everyone loves nachos, first of all. Second, Ke$ha is entirely appropriate for the age grou too young to realize she probably has Hep C.
He wants to take me instead of his girlfriend to the happiest place on earth... By that He meant Vegas. My morals are just loose enough to think this is a good idea
Don't laugh, but I might need some advice on how to ride a crooked dick.
Yes she was blowing me but I couldnt see her face. The only light was from the sparklers she asked me to hold. I love 4th of July.
well one of us has to be wrong and it's not going to be me
Write this down so you can tell me in the morning. "That bartender needs to be in my mouth."
This is the Front Desk Lady from the Saturolite Inn. Your friend is passed out in the lobby. Please come help her.
I always know im high when I can't remember how to pee.
Randomize
