She said so on her MySpace, so it's gotta be true.
Believe it's possible to jerk off while watching the food network.
Your my favorite hello and hardest goodbye.
And I especially mean that last part, half the time you pass out somewhere and it is impossible to get you to leave.
Ive been using palmolive to shower with for he last week, dont tell me about not having money. Im heading to the bar r u going.
this morning i checked my reflection in the toilet as i was throwing up to make sure i still had my pearl earrings on
Hahahaha you would not believe what I just pulled out of my vagina. Actually you probably wouldn't be surprised.
If I am going to pay someone to make me puke, it's going to be the bartender.
I've woken up in some weird places in my lifetime, but never in a tent in my own garage.
Reading my bank statement stoned makes me feel like an adult.
My arms are still sore. Apparently, lube wrestling is the best workout ever.
I really have to stop going to the movies high. Spending $10 to not know what the fuck is going on is starting to get pricey.
Also barcrawl friday. You ARE wearing a tiara
Will you remind me I changed my hotspot phone password to fuckyouprivilegedwhitedude
You can be responsible and still be on that ho life
Don't get yourself off tomorrow. We. Are. Having. Sex. That's that. Just dont do it.
Randomize
