You think the Elephant Man ever tried to pick up chicks claiming all his appendages were elephant-sized?
Actually, all he talks about is how great the sex is with her and how crappy you were at it. Stop being a bitch and gossiping masking it as self-righteousness.
It was great. Even bought me breakfast in the AM
From?
Well, he didn't exactly take me out, but left a $20 on the table...
Why do fat girls all have such cute faces?
God wants them to get laid too.
This went bad. Everyone is crying, i dont know why and I am really uncomfortable.
maybe if i keep dancing i won't throw up
Every fourth of July I get sentimental when I think back to the one where we drove around baked off our asses crashing multiple cookouts listening to Team America's "America, Fuck Yea" on repeat. I miss us.
Come over we're celebrating the one month anniversary of her first 4/20
I woke up on karas dogs bed. Lets evaluate our lives.
Well yes he stayed. He brought Guiness, them he shaved me. It's a long, but beautiful story.
it's ok, no one ever died fom being sticky.
i've gotta research that and get back to you.
I wish the guy I was sleeping with wasn't on house arrest.
I threw a dessert topping at a baby tonight so drink up! If you stay sober tonight I will be very disappointed in you.
Simple revenge plan: break into his house and steal one shoe of every pair
Welcome to your 30’s, where every one night stand is most likely with someone’s father
Randomize
