What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
loyola was giving a tour this morning and they all saw me in a half ripped off toga throwing up over the side of the dorm stairs
you don't even go to loyola anymore
I saw a penis in my cereal this morning. do you think my cheerios are like professor trelawney's tea leaves?
one can only hope.
Nothing says fuck you quite like putting your used condom in someones mailbox for them to find in the morning.
i'm glad we've gotten to the point in our relationship where I can eat peach rings off your penis.
Take my keys. Load me into the vehicle. Drive. Get food. Come back. These are my demands.
i left because you were standing at the top of the stairs throwing shot glasses and bottles full of alcohol at me and yelling JAGERBOMBS
How was the party last night?
There's a mountain bike in the middle of our apartment. No one will claim it.
second roommate of the year to get clamydia. go life.
Look, I'm just saying... paying ur respects to the neighbors who had a death in the family with food u steal from the neighbors having the cookout may result in a negative karma situation.
Your stories are the best. I feel like you're a spy among the heteros. It's not fair.
You said dick pics aren't attractive
Random ones, from strangers, no. But a beautiful penis I know and love, absolutely :3
My dad found my bra hanging from my rear view mirror. Happy long weekend.
I'm eating chicken wings naked and hungover at 10am... Happy bday to me
On the brightside we know now that empty pringle cans are accepted at mcdonalds as cups.... Screw people who judged us, we saved a buck
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