That should be a holiday. like easter. but bulges instead of baskets
no seriously. she's even got the premier of the real L word on her calendar at work. that lesbian.
Oh god the guy I took underwear from at the bar is trying to add me as a friend on facebook now.
The amount of alcohol I'm going to consume on my birthday is directly proportional to the amount of shit I've had to put up with this past year. Which is a lot.
can we just pause for one second and address the fact that balls were out last night
We met a guy named Raymond. You called him ramen all might and told him you would eat him up, "like sex, on a budget."
I'm gonna fuck that sweet little pussy of yours into absolute submission
Wow. Sorry. As soon as I sent that I felt inappropriate. But yes. Bring a sandwich after. Lol
His idea of role playing was him wearing the halloween mitt romney mask while I gave him head
last night we were hooking up when all the sudden he just murmured "mm blonde". i don't know what to think about this situation.
Please tell me that I didn't call you to say I was swimming in outter space
I biked home blackout drunk last night, but I have some memory of throwing my bike in a rage when I couldnt get it down the stairs. No idea on the bright orange puke in the sink.
How have you never felt a dick as hard as mine?
She wouldn't fuck me because I had a cast, so I took her friend home
at this point, i'm only going to therapy to get more free condoms
Do u think the bouncer will let me in with a giant stuffed snake?
Randomize
