Omg I def was not. I wasn't that drunk. I showed that I stuff my bra but I didn't whip my tit out.
Theyr drawing diagrams to try to explain to me how high they are
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
i felt horrible..i wanted to somehow give him his vcard back
that's a non refundable transaction sweetheart
He could list all of the presidents! Every one, and in order!! I was so impressed the least I could do was give him a blow job.
Ah, yes. Making our founding fathers proud.
scratched cornea got me an eyepatch and a blowjob from a girl with a thing for pirates
The pride tent is doing free lube tastings. There is also a mechanical bull.
She kept saying the tortilla understood her. I honestly don't know where she found a tortilla at the pool.
Februarys looking very promising in the vaginal department
That's good. Don't want to see you bellydancing in prison for homemade wine.
I can't believe I came last night staring into my profile pictures eyes.
I woke up today in my boxers hugging a log and realized that I think I've gotten close enough to nature. I really need to stop doing shrooms with you
I or someone else dumped a lot of glitter into my boobs last night.
I'm going to force her to break up with me this week. Tonight I plan to shit the bed. If that doesn't work I'm not sure what's next.
My theme for the night was drink diego drink! Unfortunately Dora was not there to navigate me to the bathroom
Randomize
