life is all about the fine print - all i wanted was a fucking pony.
I slept with some guy because he drew a dinosaur on my arm
I understand. Hypothetically what should one do after throwing up in the shower?
wanna play who's drunker? I just made macaroni & cheese taco and offered it to the pizza Guy as a tip.
We are lost and the only things we have are peanut brittle, cookies and vodka. I think we'll make it.
6 beers and it feels like I've been drinking water... Daiquiri time
I pull out like 90% of the time, but that's just to make art.
There's a girl in the bathroom crying about something having to do with cream cheese.
Is it bad to have a craving for speed? I feel like my nose is thirsty.
Drinking a bawls. If I'm dead when you get home, yes, they are poisoned.
Let's go dancing. I wanna sprain an ankle. And a labia. My labia or yours. I'm not picky.
I just want it to be said that I had sex in my Belle dress last night. Classy motherfucker.
lets start a news segment called WHY IS LEOS CROTCH BURNING TODAY
You just accidentally called me. You kept saying "Really?! Really?!!" So I can only assume you are having sub par sex
if it makes you feel any better you looked really comfortable while you were sleepin in the closet, atleast according to the pictures i woke up with on my phone
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