i just ate something from under my fingernail. i dont know what it was, but it tasted half decent
So Delta doesn't take cash. I used my card to buy a drink and asked the attendant if she could leave it open.
i just saw her new tattoo, how much more trashy can you get than having "taste the rainbow" on your body for the rest of your life?
he asked me if i "normally slept like that" because i was curled up in a ball facing the wall. then he told me that i woke up in the middle of the night and said "oh my god. i forgot you were here." how did he not understand that i didn't want him in my bed.
as we were stuffing their 24 of beer into our bags you kept saying you wanted cheese strings. closest things we found were kraft singles. as the guys came up the stairs you kept screaming 'GET THE CHEESE! GET THE CHEESE!'
They have beer in plastic boots. How am I supposed to resist that?
I just remember thinking that if i ran really fast through the house, no one would notice i was naked.
I think it got a little awkward for her when my dad walked in on us and did nothing except leave half of his pizza on the table for us.
Day drinking straight vodka out of a Mountain Dew can being towed behind a kayak on a raft. And no, there is no time difference, it really is 10 am.
I was just asked if I wanted to struggle snuggle. She's a keeper
If there was a bread and water delivery truck id make sweet hungover love with it.
Hey I'm coming to get my gin do you want a good luck blowjob for your exam tmrw
Well I've made a drinking game out of the Wiggles but I think I've got this babysitting thing down
Oh damn it. Let me get a beer. I can't take anymore bad news. Hold on.
She forgot a bra so she just used seran wrap. The scary thing is, it worked.
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