I'm gunna smoke cigs today. I feel like I'm in that powerful and gritty mood which requires them
I just want to get to the point in our relationship where I can get on top of her and fart and we can both laugh...not just me.
I bought a police grade breathalyzer on ebay at 4:37 am. At least I'm a responsible drunk.
He got 20 stiches.. Who knew so much damage could come from a single shopping cart.
Hm, finding a time when my drinking and your real life don't conflict could be difficult
being pregnant is like rehab
Fuck Sunday funday. Fuck real pants. Fuck the sun. Fuck Jameson. Fuck my life. Yes, I am hungover as shit sitting in my office eating bacon.
Bring enough bail money and little extra for tacos after
Ecstasy body chair massage shower sex fest this week?
I saw it and almost just was like "Ice breaker: your penis is massive" but I didn't.
I should rephrase... I'm trying to not sit on other peoples faces besides my boyfriends.
If it goes near your penis, it should not go near the Hawks.
It's scary that my vibrator is a dangerous weapon. I want a new one.
is it just me or does "lol" kill any sort of vibe while sexting?
She tried to fuck me right at the bar in front of everyone. She actually got my pants unzipped before I realized what was going on.
Randomize
