Thanks for last night it was amazing as always
What are you talking about
You've got to be kidding me
Well if I fail my finals for being drunk on Cinco De Mayo there is always next year to graduate.
You said that last year...
we knew you were done when they played It's All Coming Back To Me Now by Celine Dion and you started crying
I was sitting on the floor of CVS chugging white grape juice until someone asked me to leave.
Whatever. I'm just trying to get my dick sucked while taking online harmonica lessons
I'm laying in bed with a case of beer,.. That's how this break up is going..
He's the second guy this morning whose job is jeopardized because of my vagina.
Bro if you don't text me back I'm gonna send you a picture of my nut sack every ten seconds for the rest of the night. I'm home alone with nothing to do. Don't push me.
If I was a guy I'd keep a condom in my pocket, in my wallet, in my backpack, in my car, in my shoe, behind my fucking ear
Herpes is not a lady problem you can solve with shower beers and kissing boys
It's okay. I think we're back on. I just went on a dog walk with him n blew him on a sidewalk
Giiirrrllll. Back to back snaps of dicks. Two different guys sent me their dick at the same time. This is totally what our founding fathers meant with life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness.
She wouldn't fuck me because I had a cast, so I took her friend home
She could hold her breath for a long time. Best underwater blowjob ever.
why yes, bad decisions will be made starting at 3PM Thurs through 8PM on Sun. You have been warned. Plan accordingly.
Randomize
