Dude, Her having kids just means she puts out.
Shes from jersey what did you expect her to say when you asked her if she did coke? Its like asking some1 from a third world country if they are hungry
You sent me a text calling me "cunt" while i was in the middle of dumping my bf.
So we're fucking tonight?
all i remember thinking as i was puking my intestines out is : wow.. this toilet does look like it's from the future.
The trick is to not slur when purchasing the condoms at 3am
You just got cockblocked by Conan O'Brien.
We were all definitely blackout with drunk goggles on, even though you and Amanda were the only ones dressed up as it.
The cops knocked on our door just to ask us if we were really having a no-pants party.
I made her orgasm until she cried. Four years of only having sex with dudes and I've still got it.
Yeah I don't even know dude. This shit has reached new levels of ridiculous. Let's hope baby Jesus gallops down a rainbow on a sparkling unicorn and wills that bitch clean. I think that's the best chance we've got.
Just realized I could have five different dicks in me the day of valentines day but no real date. My life
My father is flirting with a transexual server at hamburger mary's. We can never tell him.
I just masturbated to the thought of him straight up talking to me. to us having a conversation. What the hell.
I can no longer play with you. I puked on my feet in the shower. I'm too old for this.
I just paid $10 for tinder plus so that I could change my location to Rio and match with Olympic Athletes
Randomize
