Turns out I'm a social drinker... I just happen to be REALLY social.
i wonder if she gts uncomfortable walkin bu when she knows we all know what her pussy tastes like
you were watching a documentary about sharks and wouldn't stop stroking my legs and whispering "what if they could walk?"
So i literally just wrote sorry on my quiz and turned it in.
Tomorrow will not be complet unless someone eats me out. Just sayin
dude uncooked spaghetti noodles dipped in thousand island dressing is better than it sounds
One of my coworkers just invited me to a wet t-shirt contest this weekend in honor of her son's 21st Birthday.
Plus, it's just valuable. Virgin pee is very well-priced.
For the record, rock bottom is where you start crying during porn because your ex used to slap your ass like that.. Continue on with your day now.
Just walked by the neighbors and they are definitely butt naked sitting on a bed, watching Netflix, baked out of their minds, with the blinds open.
Welcome to Bellingham.
Who would you rather hang with tonight, drunk me or high me?
I left after he drunkenly went into the kitchen and started to make eggs with a shitload of garlic. First time I'd ever had a makeout session interrupted by eggs.
We were 6 minutes into the movie before we realized the whole movie was spoken in Italian. That level of stupidly-ripped
Hey I didn't mean to come across like I was judging you about your liberal sexual choices. I would like details of your threesome if you need to talk about it!
how is it I left wearing underwear then ended up with none? and why is it they are on you?
Randomize
