Hehe I wanna Australian kiss.. Its like a French kiss but down under ;)
Turns out I'm a social drinker... I just happen to be REALLY social.
I'm going to rise like a phoenix out of the drunken, shameful ashes that were last weekend.
At home depot. Final room inspection is tmrow, gotta paint over the puke stains
He asked if I wanted a dutch rudder. 1.) Who says that? 2.) How exactly does one do that with a girl?
if you are still a virgin by winter break we are throwing an aztec themed sacrifice the virgin party
He rode a broom down the stairs while we were mattress surfing. Naked. Buck ass naked. WTF
She thinks Jesus was an astronaut.
Is it really bad that my last patient offered to fuck my brains out if I gave her IV morphine...and I gave her my phone number and told her when my shift is over?
Well, you've continued the theme of living with people who's dicks I've sucked.
I'm about to eat a 2month old weed brownie I just found in my lax duffel bag. will you answer if I call you in like an hour and a half
Well the streak is over, I saw a penis today
She just took all of the blankets in the house and threw them in the yard, because 'the grass was cold'..
i passed out in front of ihop...for the second night in a row. i think i need to reevaluate my life choices
If everyone felt the happiness from apple crown royal we would be in a better place
Randomize
