There's a 34yo winking at me. Why do i find this weird when my bf is a 38yo married man?
I just made a milkshake without a blender... thats determination
theyre selling pepper spray in the courtyard. hellooo atl
Using what I learned in my global terrorism class last semester to sneak booze onto my cruise. thanks college.
I was talking to some girls while you were falling off your bar stool into the person next to you.
you know you're a senior when your friends are at the bar before you even get out of class
why the fuck would you go to class? it's karaoke wednesday.
If I wake up with an unknown penis in me one more time I am literally going to press charges to the makers of tequila.
You were on shrooms and "the trees are crazy green!" is all you could manage.
Florida has a way of just fucking with a person's soul and jizzing all over their hopes and dreams. Like existential bukkake.
Would it be weird if your parents sold me weed?
I told a 250 pound football player I would catch him if he jumped into my arms. And that is how I broke my wrist
speaking of festive, i made out with a guy in a leaf pile last night. happy fall?
DELETE THAT VIDEO OF ME MAKING OUT WITH THAT RUG NOW
It's three am. I'm drunk in a stairwell in Vegas. My flight leaves at six. Help.
I just read my D.A.R.E. essay from 5th grade. I'm having mixed feelings about my previous life choices right now.
Randomize
