i may or may not have just grinded on your dog thinking it was my boyfriend
a guy from my religion class just walked in with a red cup. hello first friday of 2nd semester.
there are seriously like six guinea pigs in my bathtub right now
She seriously pointed at the couch and asked me if she could "ride the talking giraffe". I'll never serve everclear again.
I like to think I'd be good at dodging genitalia.
Rosemary is literally sitting on the ground holding on to the rug because she thinks she is going to fall if she lets go. We smoked way too much.
I'm convinced that the Christmas lights in my room contributed to the great sex.
There still is not and there never will be anything as magical as getting high while listening to William Shatner's version of Bohemian Rhapsody.
Ok let me just clear up this blowjob thing first so we can talk about your grandpa
Fuck off I wasn't that drunk. I was still able to toss froot loops in the air and catch them in my mouth.
And in your bra. It was quite entertaining.
There was a deer right in front of me when I came. Sex in the forest is awesome
I was shitfaced. I filled my contact case WITH TANNING LOTION
I'm making myself the patron saint of bisexuality
If you're with any of them tell them i apologize for (insert whatever i did here)
Texting people and counting condoms..we have like fourteen. Goal for this week: use all of them
Randomize
