i wish i could watch tv and lissten to music at the same time...but still understand both
i think otters can do that
i can smell the iron from margo's period blood from across the table.
I never doubt that you might be drinking at any moment.
why do guys feel they can ask questions when im blowing them? you'd think they'd know my answer will always be "mmhmhmhmmm"
Wasn't a date. In exchange for artichoke dip I received a bj. And sex. It was a transaction.
We just leapfrogged all the way to the bar.
Hey do you know who I showed my dick to at the bar last night?
my boss just accepted "because it's 4/20" as a legitimate reason to take Friday off
After a little too much, I decided public urination was a constitutional right.. Nearly got deported for that one
I think the exact words were 'I'd lett him to the weirdest shit to me'
I can't believe I'm giving you play by plays of this sexting convo. It's like a three way he doesn't know about.
When i said i was brazilian i swear to god he started to tear up
He said I have a comfortable vagina. What does that even mean?
You know it's NBA season when you compare head to 3 pointers.
If you fuck her..... You will be in great danger. Like in so much danger it would be like walking into a pit of crocodiles who haven't eaten and you also just stole their baby.
Randomize
