I regularly think about how cool your nickname is
I didn't know that people actually queef. Is this a real thing?
I believe so, yes.
Would you be offended if I asked if it has happened to you?
dude relax anyone of us could have gotten that girl pregnant
Ok I can't be your drugdealer AND booty call AND friend. It just doesn't work that way
The really sad thing is that I actually practiced crawling in my room yesterday in preparation for today
No. I want him to marry me so we can spend our lives together. I also want a to-scale model of his genitals to mount above my fireplace
All I want is tacobeell and your body
that's my favorite sentence you've ever said.
I drunken agreed to go wedding dress shopping with a stranger at the bar yesterday. She sent me an email asking what days I am free.
At what point does "I'm too high to deal with you right now" stop being rude?
And your cousins porn shouldn't have been the first straight porn you watched. And for that I am sorry
You know it's going to be a good night when you're barking by 8:20.
" my drug dealer just stopped by and did an elmo impression for my 2 year old nephew."
Charging my vibrator at work. Pray to god I don't forget it!!!
We really gotta wear capes to the bar more often...
You'll be pleased to know I just had an elaborate day dream about your penis. you were there too.
Randomize
