why is it that everytime a half black man enters something boring, it suddenly becomes sexy to people? golf? the presidency?
You American Chicks are so confusing....1 day you are on my nuts next day you be trippin
Dude its not just American chicks...a small penis is the same in every language
When health care reform is passed, I'm throwing a kegger
You are the reason we need health care reform
I am officially out of liquor stores within a 15 mile radius that don't recognize me as soon as I walk in the door.
Do you know any thirteen year old jewish kids? I'm looking for a party.
I think I just used lyrics from the Sister Sister theme song to let a guy down easy...
Hey it happens. Think of it this way- you didn't wake up in jail, your face wasn't inexplicably busted and you still have all your teeth. In this group of friends, you're on top!
seis de mayo is my least favoite holiday because i usually spend it in bed sobbing over my poor life decisions from the night before.
I've had to much cheese to give a fuck about anything. im tired.
Also I played a weird game of chicken in the ladies room at work between myself the person pooping 2 stalls over and a very determined maintenance man.
I'd like to believe that in some alternate universe we are living this wonderful lesbian life together..
We discussed how many times we've passed out during sex. The answers may shock you.
I need something that says "I'm gay sometimes but I feel scorned by my straight, non-committal lover, so I'm here to get drunk and make out, and possibly end up in a bathroom with someone who's name I won't remember tomorrow"
BRIAN AND ANTHONY SPOON FED MY BROTHER MACARONI AND CHEESE WHILE HE WAS FUCKING ZARA. THEY WENT TO HIGHFIVE HIM AND ZARA WAS LIKE "WOO!" AND HIGHFIVED THEM FIRST
it wasnt weird until his dog watched upclose as i put a tampon in
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