So I have to go swallow an entire zebra. Ur on ur own girl.
Just got the orientation leader spot. For the first two days, I will be one of the best looking guys on campus. The freshman girls will be so disappointed they settled for me when everyone else comes back.
just tell her a well fed dog doesnt stray far from the porch, and if that doesnt work just keep fucking her sisters
I tried to fuck this guy who I'm pretty sure has an erectile dysfunction
My bruised ribs were so worth that win in beer pong
Because of his penis, I can't even look at a hot dog
Today's forecast: A sex tornado warning has been issued in your area. Counties affected include your bed, your shower, or your couch. This warning is in effect until further notice. Signs of a sex tornado include: your girlfriend coming up with a huge analogy to inform you that she's ungodly horny today.
Target doesn't accept your signature for your credit card if you draw a dick on the pad. Even of your name is Richard.
I think that's the first time Navy dress blues and a Ninja Turtles onesie have been involved in the same makeout.
It's not even close to Halloween but there is a girl in a nurses outfit. Twerk or twat.
She touched my penis and started laughing. She did the same thing when she blew me.
George Washington did not fight for our freedom just to have people shit themselves all night
Far be it from me to tell you where you store your dildos but from an interior decorating standpoint not fucking there
Imagine how different my life would be if I could find a man who gave me more pleasure than pizza at 2am when I'm drunk.
His penis is average but his stamina is amazing!!! I didn’t know I had that many orgasms in my body!!!!
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