yo my bday is less then one week away. hope youve found another annoying candian i can lick dairy products off of. also sorry about your loss
she's just sitting in a corner ripping all of the filters off her menthols
I didn't know it was possible to throw up mid-sneeze.
Mike and I just ate the lobster we found in the toilet
I woke up naked this morning there was a baseball bat on the floor the bathroom door knob was removed and the floor was wet. This is why i don't do Tequila shots.
The National Anthem was on so I had to have a beer
I literally had to tap out of the blow job. It was like a pornographic wrestling match
Some guy seriously just got Jimmy Johns delivered to him at the graduation ceremony. This cannot be real life.
holy fuck man...it feels like I got beat the fuck out of by death's baseball bat...chimichangas?
It's 4/20. I'm not too worried about "healthy"
Do you still speak french? one of two girls I woke up with only speaks french...
You were silly, high, and chewing on things.
I'm sorry I told you to go fuck yourself after you said good morning to me when I was hungover.
It's decided. Tomorrow I'm getting a Big Mac and a Dildo
She's celebrating a tinder-match-aversary and I'm not about that.
Randomize
