plz talk dirty to me
I'll have you know...trying to masturbate while a song about jesus is stuck in your head is next to impossible
Found my sandals in your freezer this morning, THANKS
he said 'i want to be the peanut butter to your jelly, just without the crust' and then tried to take me shirt off
How can it be called memorial day weekend....I don't even remember this weekend
I'm at the perfect height to walk up to the corner of my mom's stove and rest my balls on it. Just thought you'd like to know they're warm.
Qdoba locked their bathrooms last night.. I suppose so people didn't pee all over them? I considered it counter productive considering I just peed on the outside of their building then. I had to pee
If you've ever wanted to get filthy in a Catholic church before 2 on a Wednesday, I might be your guy.
I mean I'm into guys with money but more into guys I'm actually attracted to
yeah i guess i'd rather he was hot than rich
wow i don't know if that qualifies as growing up but if it does i'm all in
You were drunk it couldn't have been that bad
I've never been drunk enough to enjoy getting a blister on my dick.
This guy smelled his armpits before trying to approach me at the bar
Maybe she'll change her mind but the "go fuck yourself" doesn't seem promising
my life could not get any worse. just saw my sister in a porno
So instead of going to meet her mom, I decided to jump out of her window which was about 1.5 stories off the ground. I'm alright, but I ended up meeting her mom anyway.
Did this whole conversation happen while you were shitting?
Randomize
