So instead of cumming in her, I peed in her...
What did she do!?
I didn't tell her...
Party in the USA is so catchy!
Yea, so is AIDS.
i had to apologize to my friends for being friends with me
She went into the basement and sang to my cat for three hours....she actually has a beautiful voice....
Either I'm losing my touch or ED is running rampant in 20 something men now
I'm lying on the floor in the back room praying my boss doesn't come to work today.never again
Definitely sounds like it's time for some eggs with a side of strap on
Maybe we could get a groupon for vasectomy. I'm game.
I am in a hotel room with 10 people. John is in bed eating an industrial sized pan of mashed potatoes. I think a non insignificant number of people saw my nipples.
I think you should just bang him and get it out of your system.
That's what you say about everyone.
He doesn't deserve you. Your ass looks 8 times better than his face ever will. Wanna order pizza and watch porn?
There's times when I need to be plowed... and I'm ashamed to admit auto correct was able to predict that entire sentence.
please come back they are interrogating me about masturbation
I still have a little drunk in my system
Is it weird to smoke a bong with a client from work?
Randomize
