my boyfriend just said he'd go down on me if I gave him my password to facebook
It was all fun and games until Tim shit on the end table
i hope kanye doesn't show up to patrick swayze's funeral. " i'll let you get back to your funeral in a minute...but michael jackson had the best death of the year. just sayinnn ".
giving him head while hes talking to his fiancee on the phone about inviting me to their wedding.... im invited. should i go or would that be wrong?
the girl next to me at the bar JUST looked down at her vagina and said "im going to get you fed". if i come home alone tonight...i give you permission to cut off my penis
woke up with the dennys waiters MYSPACE link on the back of my receipt...yep one of those nights
having sex with him is like cage fighting mixed with pilates...the condoms didn't stand a chance...
you riverdanced for the cops while the rest ran away.
Dont really know what happened near the end, Pockets were filled with skittles though
I'd probably lick every tooth in Carly Rae Jepson's fucking mouth.
Teen Choice Awards are on if your wondering.
Apparently I'm a "fire hazard"
I didn't think I was even that high but when we were standing in the cop car's headlights I totally forgot how to use my arms
He complimented the perfect handprints you left on each of my ass cheeks.Thanks.
I sent my boyfriend to the bar so I could go out tonight and actually get laid..
My husband found the cock ring I bought my FWB. I told him it was napkin holder and he believed me. And that’s why I need a side dick
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