Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
GO HOME AND LIKE EVERYTHING ON COLT'S FACEBOOK UNTIL 2007.
Wtf it's a Friday night?
PRIORITIZE.
Wake and baked to watch the boston marathon. God I love massachusetts
someone left their shoes, a resume, and a pizza in the shower... i am actually speechless
I was sleeping on the bathroom floor and thought a wet towel might keep me warm.
Getting too drunk for the hot dog vendor to serve me is possibly a sign of an alcohol problem. I threw up in the sewer grates next to his stand
Its not monday til someone throws up in the hallway
My nephew just told me I smell like apathy and regret. Thats the hangover I'm dealing with
After we were done the second time she turned to me and called me a Hardcore Armadillo. Also, her O face involves crossed eyes. You tell me.
door buzzer is fixed. took shots with Latvian electrician to celebrate. nice guy. he is gonna bring mixers next time cuz kombucha didn't really cut it for him.
it's pretty awkward texting you how much I want to suck your cock when I have my mom on speakerphone.
On my way
I ended up sleeping on a park bench. Never using Tinder again.
My vagina just clenched in fear
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone dad. And you’re also like a second dad to me who I also send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
I CAN’T BELIEVE YOU STUCK YOUR DICK IN CRAZY!
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