the nicest thing hes ever said to me is give me head.......please
Dude michael jackson died, guess he's not 'stayin aliveee' any longer.
Uh dude that wasn't a michael jackson song it was the BGs
when a girl says 'did you just try to kiss me' you should leave the bar. trust me.
what if every blade of grass was a penis?
maybe i get so drunk and make stupid mistakes cuz Subconsiously im preparing for my real world debut
i have a dinosaur tramp stamp
Just had sex with a girl from Italy. The only english she knew was Obama campaign slogans. Her screaming, "Yes we can!" as I was railing her not only turned me on but allowed my neighbors to know it was consentual.
I know i'm the slutty cousin, but be honest. have you ever got your nose ring caught on a guy's zipper?
He also informed us that it's rude to shove your tit in someone's mouth. Happy Monday.
Is YOLO really just a socially acceptable way to say you enjoy putting things up your nose?
IM A SHIT SUOW THE GUYS AT THE PMACR TOLD ME AJDBO I WEBF RO WALNARY WITH OU SHOES! I WASHT LLOWES FLOWERSA
I didn't ask for a picture of your soft dick.
Dude. Went to buy some jack and sailor Jerry, when the guy at the counter realized it was my birthday everybody in the store including the stoners and the elderly sang to me. Then they gave me shots of moonshine. 21st bday was a success
I'm waiting for your stupid pizza and this 400 lb drunk man is behind me singing the acapella version of Elevation by U2
When a guy asks for your ig but you already know his blood type, social security number, & mother's maiden name.
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