i hope the fucking fire crotch burns his mouth
winter break is gonna be like a weird mixture of rehab fat camp and holiday cheer.
so high i just made my own version of grilled cheese using toast and spray cheese
here comes the puke
I just masturbated to the audio from my psych lecture . . . this screwing my prof fantasy is getting serious.
Well let's just say that she ended up trying to get it in with the wheelchair guy, who btw, can get an erection and quickly I might add
why does he always try to puke into shot glasses
Haha jealous. If I could remember my dreams I'm pretty sure they would constantly be about being drunk in foreign countries
When I say I took advantage of you when you were drunk, I mean that I convinced you to let me paint cute little panda bears on all of your toenails.
We'll talk about this tommorrow when I'm not mistaking my fingers for French fries....
Btw kudos to your tongue last night. Sorry about that lady jizz in your beard.
so hungover. I'm actually considering eating the snow off the roof so I don't have to leave my bed
He was too drunk, and my mother and I ended up babysitting him. He told her I have amazing mouth skills, and that I love the "chorizo" he feeds me. All she said was "And on the list of 30 things you never want to hear about your daughter..." while gripping the steering wheel.Please just fucking kill me now.
No I don't want to see you. You're the reason that I'm going to need a new liver by the time I'm 30.
Thirty seconds is a long time in jizz time...
I need to get some goddam control over my hormones
Randomize
