doesn't he have a GF?
that just means you have to try harder.
i didn't have to try TOO hard, just told him i didn't want to know his name or...
found an unmarked box of photos in the garage, they were from when my parents first got together. It was fun laughing at their ridiculous eighties outfits and hairstyles, until I found a pic of my dad. naked. with a boner.
so he tried to quietly tell me my Tampon String was hanging out in front of his family but i didn't hear him so he yelled it
we're havin a 400 loko party for joe pa's 400th win. come get loko
i swear, about 40% of my drunken life is spent having sex with him.
Just saw a homeless man taking a shower in someone's sprinkler system....
They should make a traveling bouncer service to remove unwanted people from your house without getting the cops involved. That sums up my Friday.
I hear fucking Christmas music. I'm going to find fucking Santa and tell him to suck a dick and shut up for the next month
Oh yes there is. Now I'm the sad one. Please organize my life. And I will demoralize yours.
I found out my butt plug has a metal core at the airport security checkpoint...
I definitely don't have enough experience with hookers to be in this group text anymore.
Why is there never any toilet paper at his apartment? What does he wipe his ass with? WHAT DOES HE WIPE IT WITH?!?
Has anyone heard from Jamie or has she actually just been having sex for 48 hours?
Pretty sure I was naked for most of the night.....success
Why are there naked heterosexuals in my apartment?
Randomize