I was scared of Debbie's boobs today. They were all huge and scary looking
she needs to go suck a dildo, because she isn't worth a dick
I can actually hear my brain cells scream as they die when she speaks.
He started yelling "fuck the environment" then puked all over the baby trees
Thanks be to the Goddess of Whores!! I straightened my bed before Ken got here. Found Calvin's boxers in the sheets!!!!
I had very briefly met him a few years ago. My friend was tired of hearing us both complain about being horny. She figured she would fuck two birds with one stone.
you regret 100% of the tequila shots you do take. thats what gretzky meant to say
Not every day do you see a hooker getting arrested at noon. Just kidding, we live in Reno.
Why were you not born a dude?
Because god wanted to level the playing field
Of the past 48 hours, 46 of them have been spent naked. I'd say it's been a good two days.
This bar smells like your ball sack. In a weird way I miss you.
idk i was trying to watch Fuller House and you got up out of a dead sleep, just in your boxers, said "no more Dave Coulier" and walked out to the living room and unplugged the router
Sometimes self-care is taking a shot of vodka and moving on.
Who knew she had talents apart from chugging wine spritzers
Come by so you can take a pregnancy test with me. It's like my monthly ritual!
Randomize
