I'm at the psychiatrist, and this lady is crazy.. she keeps yelling about how her HMO insurance gave her breast cancer? Adderall isn't worth this.
hey remember that time we got really drunk, you tried to find narnia in my refrigerator and passed out in the freezer drawer??
no.
She celebrated a negative pregnancy test by going out to Quizno's. I really don't understand her at all.
So my teacher figured out I made a drinking game out of her lecture. Once my drink was gone she let us out. Happy St. Patricks day class. Your welcome
Her brother walked in on her giving me a bj and just laughed. I got a highfive before I left.
You told him that your vagina was the "King Crab" of all vagina's.
I'm pretty sure we organized our beer pong teams according to who's been circumsized...
You know what, I don't care that I got too drunk and didn't make it into the boat party. If I had, I probably wouldn't have peed on you later while we soundly slept. I feel you need that in a best friendship.
Dude you took some guys glasses off his face and ran out of the bar
There is a hatefuck that has the destruction level of an atom bomb raging through my viens just aching to vaporize her.
We tried to do sophisticated last night, but our low class kept shining through.
Bourbon is too strong for my cat, he does not want to drink it
I either forgot underwear this morning or lost them at work and I seriously don't know which.
Can I just say how funny it is that your "respect" tattoo is right above the bruise from me slapping your ass
Every time I look at him 'Relax' by Frankie Goes to Hollywood plays in my head. Is that weird?
Randomize
