I hope my future cuntsucker is that tight
He just refered to Steak and Shake as "a good place for couples". I will definitely not be shacking tonight.
I'm not gonna lie. having my legs shaved for me in the morning was a lovely surprise.
She bent the beer can with her tongue. I'm scared of what she'll do to me
I know I said I wouldn't, but he told me I looked like Mila Kunis. Reasons not to fuck him, go.
You act as if I'm the first person to pee in the Taco Bell drive thru at 2 AM, I'm sure a lot worse things have happen in that drive thru than my urine.
no, throwing your underwear at it is not the solution to everything
I don't care if he was in that porno. He looked like he knew what he was doing.
I'll be there in spirit. Right there in your vagina.
Don't send the creepy guy a picture of your penis. That's my Christmas wish
Who would've thought that Monopoly night would've ended with some girl peeing on the couch.
after you left he started opening his bottles by smashing the neck against the edge of the fireplace and pouring beer into his mouth. it was about the manliest thing ive ever seen. its probably how lumberjacks open their beers... if they didnt have their axes handy.
COVER ME IN BACON THATS MY FETISH
ACTUALLY ITS NOT, I HAVE NO FUCKING IDEA WHAT AWAKENS THE MONSTER BELOW THE BELT
Plus you get to call him out on being a dick. It's more satisfying than ever sex I've ever had.
sarahs drunk and is drawing dinosaurs all over the apartment. should i stop her?
whats she drawing them with?
eyeliner
no that's ok
Randomize