No, computers are like whores. moody bitches that cost too much and no matter how much protection you have you can still get a virus
i think i have reached a jessica simpson level of regret
I had to get a ride home from that girl that slept with 3/4 of the band
i'm forgoing the post-coitus cuddling sesh to ask u this :when he says he loves me and all i can think to say is either "cool" or "i love boning you," what do i do?
I just sold weed to a guy holding a baby...does this make me a bad person?
new revelation: five guys for breakfast
new revelation: previous revelation not a good revelation
My history teacher just took his shirt off cuz the classroom was to hot. And then he invited us all to join him.
I am in macy's and just straight up heard an old lady taking a crap in her depends.
Now you have tequila AND fuzzy slippers. Fuck you. I want that to be MY night.
She had sex in a public bathroom and slept on a couch in the dorm lobby. It's only Monday
I will give you the couch, a small portion of the fridge, and plenty of beer.
Got my future figured out. I'm oddly comforted. Thanks, bro.
I just had the worst experience of my life, my grandma found my condoms.
Dude... I had a dream that I was getting high for the first time. I got to experience my weedginity again. It was glorious.
It's my day off, I'm going to Target to check out Moms in yoga pants
I accidentally stubbed my dick
What does that even mean?
Randomize
