I've decided that life's journeys are more fun when your moral compass hangs in front of you and swings with each step
im dirt poor will suck dick for halloween costume
I FOUND THE PROF I'M GOING TO FUCKKKK.
I'm too drunk to be surrounded by this many indians
How do you manage to be drunk and a racial minority so often?
I smell like fire and strippers. Successful sunday funday.
we are all four or five tequila-induced decisions away from shitting in a bucket, come get me please.
The bald eagles cry cause u drink canadian beer.
Opened the apartment door and the smell of sex and weed literally slapped me across the face. Kudos.
Still trying to figure out where I was when someone broke the lawn chair and put it in the bathroom.
Like when I see him I look straight through his appearance and just envision a big walking penis.
Let's go get coffee and handcuffs.
He yelled at me to keep it in my pants and I replied with I will fuck your roommate as much as I please. Oops
I really have to stop going to the movies high. Spending $10 to not know what the fuck is going on is starting to get pricey.
I'm still home, my life isn't together. Currently drying my pants
I legitimately thought he died. I even called his mom at 3am and told her. Im done with vodka.
Randomize
