He's telling me stories about how he made out with a 14 yr old when he was 22. I'm going home.
Mental picture: Us at a bar keeping it classy shot gunning PBR's in the corner.
That was a good example of when keeping it real goes right
is asking a girl out on a date while in another girls bed in poor taste?
he said he wanted to butter my pancake. i thought it was sexual, but he went downstairs and made pancakes. i need to stop dating fat guys.
You threw a bottle at the bartender and then stole his tip jar. However, you were quickly KO'd by the bartender. Solid right hook.
like stop trying to get a relationship out of this when i'm clearly in the drunken mistakes part of my life.
No she stopped screaming. Now she's eating popcorn. Off a plate. With a spoon.
Immediate regret. She's like a chihuahua on crack.
I want to reach into my vagina and rip out my uterus with my bare hands. Understand how much it hurts now?
We tried to make ramen in a glass bowl on the stove. They called facilities to pick the glass out of the door
I just made kick ass drunk stir fry while taking care of three other drunk people and doing shots. I don't understand how that's not wife material
Also, we can't be seen together looking suspicious or sexually satisfied
Omg I just looked in my purse from last night.. 10 bags of gummy bears.
i just want a beer and a blow job. is that so much to ask?
and i just want a ring so i can stop faking it. is that?
I don't think getting eaten out in a smart car behind a circle-k on my break by a guy I just met classifies as social distancing, but I'm beginning to love night shift more and more.
Randomize
