im drinking this country out of the recession.
im letting my talent of no gag reflex go to waste
they said they heard you say put it in my butt
They call it the Collection Couch because all 4 room mates have slept with at least 3 different girls on it. He tried to seal the deal with "would you like to be number 14?"
And sadly I did.
Nothing like studying in the College of Communication to make you realize how smart you are.
I think I've hugged the toilet more times than I've hugged my own family members.
She told me that as long as she kept starring at the freckle on her arm she wouldnt throw up
Should we pre-order food to the ER for cinco de mayo?
I'll just be here. Naked. Eating tots and jello like a muh fuggin G
He was so good, that I'm pretty sure he fucked his religion into me. P.S. I'm Jewish now.
She's posted my bail. Twice. Of course I'm going to be her wing girl.
Oh fuck. There is like a human shit on the sidewalk. I hate this place.
All i hear is "BITCH BETTER HAVE MY HONEY" and i turn around and there is a dude in a bear costume. It was fur real.
We were just sitting together and this guy walks up to us and says, "you ladies are drinking too slow", puts a 5 dollar bill on the table and just leaves the bar. Helloooo Taco Bell
Looks like taco salad for lunch. I may have died and gone to be better circle in hell than I thought.
Randomize
