She was like a white Oprah, but with less conviction.
Probably, but last night was a special kind of drunk. It was a "let's see how drunk I can get without killing myself" drunk.
But when he came on my stomach I noticed how tan I was!
I have your shoes, your bike, and someones blue underwear. Round 2 tonight?
The kid in the park, who was on a leash I might add, looked at us and yelled "stranger danger" before hiding behind his dad
You know what, I don't care that I got too drunk and didn't make it into the boat party. If I had, I probably wouldn't have peed on you later while we soundly slept. I feel you need that in a best friendship.
Well, we broke up and instead of putting my shit out on the curb like a normal person, she fucking donated everything to Goodwill. So now I have to pay two dollars for one of my own t shirts.
So you get idea of what my night was like, I woke up this morning and the back of my head was orange
speaking of festive, i made out with a guy in a leaf pile last night. happy fall?
Thinking of someone think of me while masturbating while I masturbate. & that's how the over thinkers do it ✌️
Holding your hair back while you puked wasn't a choice. I was handcuffed to you.
You weren't stupid you just made an ass of yourself. It's called a birthday party. That's code for night of regrets.
Made out with sailor moon tonight. Childhood dreams do come true.
I will not go because I am a man of my word and of my penis.
So, I need to know. Why did you spraypaint your underwear gold?
Randomize
