Racial profiling caused me to miss two cabs but the third cabs the charm - he's playing Jesus Music
What are you doing tonight?
Watching dora the explorer and pining for a sex life.
failed my one goal of the day: wake up before 2 pm.
Last night must have been awesome, my dog still smells like vomit.
i have now been nicknamed the screamer on the first, third, fourth, & six floor by all the ra's. only two more floors to go before i cover the entire dorm.
No big deal, we were just two friends having sex. It's perfectly normal we don't remember. Water under the sex bridge,
Note to self: You can't deep fry cheese-its.
underwater hpnotiq shots? sure why not.
Ok, it is technically a gay bar but it's a total dive w/ strong drinks. The important thing is you can start drinking at 11:00 am without judgement
oh oh oh, and apparently you can bring in your own snacks. Some old dude just gave me cashews and cheetos.
I'm trying to make a sex playlist
record yourself crying and put it on a loop.
I have never heard someone not give a fuck so poetically in my life. I feel like you should be leading men into battle with a speech like that
somebody put my brain in a crown royal bag and beat the shit out of it
but im not going to tell the owner of the penis of my dreams how to wear his hair.
I can't even properly respond cuz I'm ballsdeep in falafel
It looked like Halloween in bed... BECAUSE HE BIT MY PUSSY AND I BLED ALL OVER THE FUCKING PLACE. THEN HE FELL AND BROKE HIS TOE. AND THEN PASSED OUT WHEN HE SAW ALL OF THE BLOOD.
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