Ok I love you more. To infumty and beyong.
is it true that cum stays in you for 7 years?
that's gum
This is the last time I call a hotel to see if you or some random guy paid for the room last night.
don't worry about the poodle she's always like that. she's like 14 years old and ate a bag of weed when she was a puppy.
It was a rude awakening when I turned on my phone and the first thing I saw was a picture of David's dick with a face on it, I need to stop drinking in his basement...
no. you're not making a beach trip out of my abortion.
I think I've lost the thrill of being a slut. It's just that the newness has worn off, I think.
Whatever you gave me is making me lactate
I just stood up and am wasted. I think I just admitted to my mom that I am trying to fuck everyone in New York because they're skinny and ethnically ambiguous. Meanwhile, happy hour isn't over yet.
I'm to the point that I've had the revelation that its physically impossible for my arms to be attached to my torso.
I feel like there should be a database and you screen your boyfriend's scrotum and all the fucked up shit they've done goes on file.
I'm sorry, you're actually right. Ostrich racing happens, and they're ridden like a horse. Bewildered and distraught.
That's a lot of people she's fucked in one picture.
long story short, the bouquet was used as a sacrificial torch
I hummed the theme from jaws while she was taking the pregnancy test....needless to say she was not pleased
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