I'm just sayin u wanted to sleep after ur paper. I can make u sleep
THE most awkward situation I have EVER been in
Also, I just threw up a little in my mouth and had to act like everything was totally fine.
I put it into a sports analogy for him: there are three teams in the league- friends, fuck buddies, and dating, and the fuck buddies roster is full, pick an alternate team
look, i may have sacrified a 20% assignment for a sprite. this is what hangovers do to me.
You owe me a new pair of headphones. You plugged mine into the top of a mustard bottle.
90 persent of me said don't pee on that fake plant. Buyt i did
I think the main reason you were throwing up so much was the quart of soap you chugged trying to burp bubbles. you came close
girl I've been sleeping with this summer as per her request just gave me a carton of cigs to thank me for my "hospitality". this is good.
He's only a freshman and he needs to expirence shit like that..
YOU would be the Freshman Expirence
Now that I'm single, I like to think of myself as in a relationship with Taco Bell.
We're bowling witha frozen turkey in the hallway...ur missing out
she cut her forehead open playing a drunken game of pin the tail on the donkey and now she's having a panic attack.
is it weird that our first time having sex was makeup sex?
I find him attractive in the absolute weirdest way. Like I need him to do my taxes, but I also feel like I should spill things on him to gain his attention and then lick it off to gain his affection.
What time is our conjugal visit?
Umm...who is this?
Randomize
