So the waitress at the Chinese Buffet totally just said "Adios" to a Hispanic couple. There's something you don't see every day.
the worst part of it wasnt him peeing on the xbox. it was when he showed me his penis and made a kissy face at me. THAT was painful.
On a scale of 1 to last weekend, how hungover are you?
so,apparently a side effect from having sex on the beach is now i have a tanline shaped like your sister
i hate you
Of course, I believed he would find me irrestible...sloppy drunk, chugging from a bottle of chardonnay, and completely naked because those kids stole my clothes as I was swimming on their private beach
I hope to God 2011 is the year I stop loving tequila.
We need to play Chardee MacDennis. Contact me when you have an available date. This is not a question.
I've got a permanent seat at the "Girls who eat their feelings" table this weekend.
idk man, I was fucked up and eating fried rice at the grocery store, tried to wave at her but she just looked concerned at me.
I hate drunk me more than anyone else in this world
We both know we're cheating on one another. But our side pieces aren't as kinky as us...so yeah, we're still together. This is a fucked up relationship.
my liver is dry heaving
I'm eating pizza in the bathtub
His mom let me come to his house for a Booty call at 4am. She even cooked us breakfast in the morning and told me im a better moaner than his girlfriend of 4yrs.
I really don't think my body can handle another night of drinking
Lol you talk like you have a choice
I am worried that I am gonna die before the weekend is over
Randomize
