no morals, dignity, or self respect ... just an empty condom wrapper and a facebook request
just throwing this out there: period starts tomorrow sooo either sex tonight or not until tues/weds.
i get a bj anyways so it's really your choice.
k i'll be over in 5.
just threw up into the cup of Gatorade I was hoping would settle my stomach. thanks again, alcohol.
I'm drunk enough to talk Barbara Walters outta her panties
New game: Step 1) Turn on ESPN. Step 2) Drink every time someone says "LeBron."
Just tell your wife to stay in the car because you are self conscious about drinking infront of her. Now you have a DD AND we can still have a good time.
there is beer in every square inch of this apartment and he hasn't even lived in it for 24 hours. we're playing some game that involves slamming beer, beer pong and smacking people's cups out of their hands.
I'm blaming hurricane Irene if I get pregnant tonight.
It was weird. Like "Mom, Dad, here's a guy who knows my orgasm face".
I'm going to teach Troy such valuable life lessons. Yesterday I told him to stay away from girls who drink redbull and vodkas.
Do you think I could use my teacher of month Award to get free drinks?
I'm using emojis for drug deals now. It's time to kill me.
she kind of stumbled up and said "Bitches be needin' stiches." i thought i could convince her to break a bottle over someones head but she fell onto her face and passed out before i could say anything
I mean we all knew i was gonna get arrested eventually but shoplifting is lame so dont tell anyone. Well just let them assume public nudity or something
So my dad just asked, "did you leave without pants a lil bit ago?"
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