Help i just walked in on mom blowing dad
Y do pigs give u trufles on farmville? I WANT BACON YOU FUCKING PIG!
I drank mimosas and played bocce ball in the middle of finals week...now i know how Comm majors feel all the time.
He made me a "booty call of the year" award.
They wouldn't let me go to sleep at the police station while I was waiting to bail u out. YOU OWE ME
I'm going to have to start sleeping with my keys taped to my stomach.
Remind me to call McDonald's to give a good review of Ruth. She truly demonstrated grace under pressure.
THIS IS NO TIME FOR SHAME JOSH. JUST GOTTA GET IT IN. PURELY FOR LEVELING UP PURPOSES
I'm spending tomorrow with her. What should my ridiculous personal goal be? I've already got a blowjob while eating a cupcake
Just assume that every drink in that house has alcohol in it.
just reached the point where my breast implants paid from themselves in free drinks.
My mom just looked at me and said; "You've been pretty bitchy lately do you need some dick?" WTF has happened to me?
feeding cats lunchmeat on my kitchen floor. come pour me another shot.
All right well I’m making her sugar cookies and sleeping with her husband tonight. Just another manic Monday
These freshmen are fun! The redhead wants to practice her blowjob skills with me and let me rate different moves!
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