where are you?
in the room with the baby pig
k im coming soon
I haven't seen him in over a year. He asked me to his prom over myspace. Is he fucking serious?
why do i have 22 missed calls from someone who is literally saved in my phone as bumrape star??
Princeton has an emergency contraception worldwide website. It is in moments like these that I love my university
she needs to go suck a dildo, because she isn't worth a dick
Also, our mothers are placing bets on which of us will get pregnant first.
Also you were throwing your phone yelling this is durable as shit
Packing up everything in the dorm. Silly bands to unused condom ratio is ridiculous.
I remembered to bring wine in a nalgene bottle, but I forgot sunscreen and water. I'm starting to question my life decisions.
One is full of apple juice. One is full of tequila. This is real russian roulette my friend.
Yes, i finally made it. but let me tell you...i can smell myself right now in class right now, this scent is called alcoholism.
How do we stop her downward spiral?
Wine. For us.
And I just want you to know I got myself into this mess. I gotta get myself out. Plus, don't you only need one kidney?
I fully support your bad decision but I do not approve of your unironic use of the word yolo
Did you at least know who's jizz it was?
That is questionable.
Randomize
