Richard, I just read on your Twitter account that you have enjoyed a, "Much needed post birthday smoothie..."...A bit revealing, no?
Awww my brother is growing up soo fast!! He just gave me the, "I know you're high but I won't tell mom n dad" look!
i awoke yet another morning with penis breath. ive been so generous santa has to bring me a shit ton of presents
I really hope you aren't where I think you are. Dude she has a MUSTACHE. You need Jesus..
Still not exactly sure how i unbolted your toilet from the ground.
When he left he said something to the effect of "well now that I've been used..." I think he may be on to me.
Between the booze, mechanical bulls, and penis's I think my body hates it when I'm single
Found your dick twin last night
I went on an adventure and now we have more food.
Well, really we just have fire sauce and cookies. But they're edible.
Back at condo with chick. What is the condom situation urgent response needed
I've never had someone have to dis-arm themselves before I sucked their dick prior to that
While walking to class I was handed a red bull, condoms, and a mini bible. I love my school.
Drunk is a universal language darling
Thanks for not letting me choke to death on my vomit last night
Thank you for attempting to organize my DVDs in chronological and alphbetical order
Hey. Did I get punched in the face last night?
Yeah. I told you I would and you didn't believe me.
Randomize
