we're at the bar and some girl dropped a bottle of burnettes strawberry vodka out of her purse and it broke.
i mean, if that's not class, then i don't know what is
he's afraid if he sleeps with me i'll go all lavender brown on him
I feel like Tiger Woods should send Jesse James a gift basket or something...
I have no idea where we are. But it doesn't look dirty so I don't think we are in jersey yet
ok, she started talking about how she swears her step dad killed her mom. starting to back out of this one
You insisted on drinking champagne out of the dog bowl
We started telling people we were married, and then we hooked up on a park bench
It probably isn't a good idea to go home with last night's hookup's brother. And sister.
Probably is probably an understatement.
I don't think she can come out, she went too hard in the Intro to Theater Drinking Game at 2:30
so my pro life roomate found a used condom wrapped up in her sheets with your panties. never letting you have sex in her bed again
This guy is like Don Jon! Im over here this weekend and at least four times I've heard porn on his phone thru the bathroom door.
So will your sis find it a compliment if I tell her I lost out on some awesome dick to go to her bday dinner???
That's okay I'm failing college because I'm to busy giving over the pant handjobs in class..
What am I thankful for..I figured out I can drink on antibiotics without getting sick thanks to the power of pot gummies
You'd think that a rotation of two 30 year old men could keep me satisfied... WHY ISN'T THERE A MAN THAT CAN KEEP UP WITH MY HEALTHY SEXUAL APPETITE?!
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