I want 2 things right now, you or a cig
cig
So she farted while we were having sex but I was afraid she would stop because she was emberessed so i just went ahead and took the blame and apologized
i just woke up in the woods behind my house in handcuffs and a dan marino jersey ive never seen before
It took my four years to get this degree, and 4 hours to lose it, My parents are not impressed.
Yeah I think we tried to use the shower curtain as a parachute because its tied to my backpack with some string. Dont know if anyone actually attempted it though.
Being a responsible DD does not include attempting to coordinate a 4 taxi caravan to bar #3
I don't want to talk about her cat for two hours only to dry hump till I'm blistered. Not worth it.
I think he thought he was a gentleman because he bought me the most expensive plan b at cvs
why did I try to FaceTime with 311 last night?
Casually brushing the Bacardi out of my hair. It's a good time to ponder regretting everything that happened last night.
All is fair in love and war and toga parties
I can't base my relationships off of good dick and dogs.
Only thing exciting about him was his dick.
I may or may not be drunker than time right now.
Yes. I had to slow down my handjob so he would last...-and I give shitty handjobs to begin with
Randomize
