So I have exactly 420 dollars saved up in tips from the past week. I win, and I take that as a sign from god that I am allowed to use that money to buy drugs.
i study at coffee shops because all these damn artsy people motivate me to work towards a real job.
he cried for an hour, then he threw up on my lap then started singing party in the usa...opera style...
I have 250 contacts there has to be someone sober to take me to taco bell
let's just say I never want to get pulled over and have to explain to the cop why I'm wearing a false beard again.
He needs to respect me before he can fuck me with cat ears on.
My roommate comes home screaming, I brought you home a friend! I thought she brought me a guy...no, she brought home a one-eyed shih tzu.
Ill go to bed but tamed sharks isnt so much of a bad idea. Not for riding
Did you just send me an ass picture with a quote from the lion king?
What are you gonna do about it?
I was packing a bowl naked and her dog just stared at me with pure rage
the police report says i screamed sanctuary from a jungle gym at the playground when they caught up with us, obviously they disregarded international law.
So, I have realized that I am kryptonite for married men. I'm not sure how to feel about this sober, but drunk me accepts her destiny.
Awk moment when I forgot to tell my hookup about visitor parking so he got towed
I've fucked him twice and literally had no idea that he's missing a thumb
enjoying your night?
do dogs like to salsa?
I dont know if that answers my question or not
Randomize
