so howd the 'mom i only play with condoms' conversation go?
So I got my period. Finally. In related news, I reinstated my belief in God.
You know you're a nerd when you lose track of how many times you've gotten turned on watching Glee.
Between the plague n the counterfeit drugs we brought back from mexico I'm not thinking too highly of their country right now. Screw mexican homeless men.
yeah I'm sure your grandparents are the best but it's halloween. get a slutty costume and let's go ham.
He wanted to feed hamburgers to the homeless... as a first date... who the fuck is this kid
theres a new barista at starbuck holy fuck she's hot
i want to face-plant into her vagina
I have been referring to it as "thanks for getting out of me day" all week. Do you think they will still take me to brunch tomorrow?
I just walked in on my lesbian roommate having sex in the kitchen, and it was awesome. We proceeded to shots naked together. Happy birthday to me.
Woke up to a note written on my hand that read "just because he kisses you, doesn't mean you have to sleep with him"
next time, write it on your vagina so its more effective.
I'll give you some choices for what to get me for Christmas. 1.You naked. 2.You naked 3.You naked.
You came down the stairs dressed as winnie the pooh and kicking cups off the table and out of people's hands
Right as the plane left the gate the brownies kicked in. I dont think the guy next to me appreciated my engine noises as we took off
My pants are on and I'm pretty sure I tried to throw them at someone.
Been there. Done that. Still have his t-shirt.
Randomize
