Apparently you make a good broom.
Leaving terminator. dude in front of us leaving was wearing a baggy micael vick jersey, cargo shorts and brown crocs. God I hate people.
Wow, So this kid just walked into class, yak'd on his lab partner then runs out. Class is now cancelled. I gotta find this kid and Thank him.
I did shrooms last night. My drug checklist is complete, I can finally graduate.
got my wristband ripped off, was told i can only be served water. please find me, i'll be running through the fountain
I think mounting someone proves who's house this is
It's stupid hot. I just want to be laying in a bathtub full of margaritas
WHY does every guy I sleep with want to fix my car?!
Is it bad that I don't ask for names anymore? Just added "gold-chain-wearing hotel guy" to my list under "minivan 3way" and "funny-tasting gym guy."
Blacking out is all I've done this year and we're only 3 days in. Checkmate bitch.
Topless Tuesday? One of us will be really happy the other not so much.
Hey, what's a nice way of saying "Why'd you send me a picture of your boobs last night" without seeming ungrateful?
definitely good. no good can come from sex in a very full public venue.
Your boyfriend being in jail is really helping my social life! #GotASingleDrinkingBuddyAgain
You set fire to his cat.
In my defense, I did not think it would be in the trash bag.
Randomize
