Just passed an anti-circumcision dude with a sign. Handing-out-bibles guy has been officially one-upped.
Just crushed a xanax into my chewing gum. Its gonna be a long, fucking up flight...
Horny girl and non horny girl have different views on life
i'm sitting in the second floor bathroom drinking coronas in the shower. do not find me.
From the prices on this menu it looks like I have no choice. I have to blow him.
The fish's death was accidental. We all said a few words at his funeral. Roomie wanted to play only the good die young as he swirled down the toilet bowl
At this point if I didn't go to work hungover I think the whole place would think something is wrong
umm, I just masturbated to old Justin timberlake on MTV jams. in need of dick ASAP
Shower sex is an art that should not be attemted drunk
But that background check said 51...Omg. If I hooked up with someone that's my dads age.....
If I woke up in a pillar of smoke I suppose that's a sign right
Man, you got so high you own goaled yourself in FIFA then got up celebrating.
I don't remember that much at all. But I guess I met this guy from New Zealand and his dog, and then I punched someone in the face.
Obviously you're feeling a little sexually frustrated.
I consider humping a stranger every ten minutes when I walk in the street.
When we were in Vegas he tried to get an Elvis impersonator to act dead on a toilet so he could take photos. This is even worse
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