i don't know how boys match. i think shoes & belt are the only thing. it doesn't matter. i just know if they look stupid.
i wish every aspect of life was like a bar. flirt with the cute guy two feet across from you and get whatever you want for free
I just got a facebook invite to join a group called "bring back the old franzia spout." i never want our generation to grow up.
To put it in a frame of reference with which you're familiar, it was like making out with a golden retriever.
It's okay, I climbed on the roof of the bar to get my shoe back. This may become a Saturday tradition. I'll keep you updated
Finally considering to keep my landing strip before I have sex.. I feel like It makes me look mature.
Sorry I sent so many blank messages. My hands are slippery. Don't ask why.
I think I found out what we're going be for Halloween....Alcohol poisoning victims.
I am a delicate flower. A fucked up, drunk, horny, pants pissing, delicate little flower.
She wants to have a threesome with Taylor Swift. I think this is the kind of love my grandparents spoke of.
Saw your dad at the bar last night... And again this morning when he left. Told you not to mess with me bitch.
I just realized it's officially fall..I had sex while watching Halloween
I have standards. Maybe not when it comes to men.. but definitely when it comes to sex
He fucked the hangover right out of me. That good.
Bug bite on my vagina. I think we need to stop this 'sex in awesome places campaign.'
Randomize
