update: ifinallt managed t5o be in a. Horizontal position without throwing up... the snmall victories.
Let's just say trying to drink my weight in apple pie shots looked better in theory.
Also, that dude projectile vomiting all over the living room was the perfect distraction for me to swipe the booze and run.
Omg. I felt like a crazed animal last night. My lesbian instincts burned a hole in my panties.
You know what, don't say anything. You all made fun on me for saying I would fuck him junior year when he taught us algebra and six years later, HERE I AM.
Classic dick move. Breaking up your buddies 3-some by coming into his room and doing the Harlem Shake.
These girls just walked into this party as reverse cowgirls... Wearing cowboy clothes all backwards
THANK YOU for not letting me make out with that girl omfg I was one step away from a foursome in the handicapped stall
the best part of christmas was when my mom opened the handcuffs that were supposed to be for jen. Surprisingly, not the most awkward situation of the day.
I almost tased myself
I dont think you should own that device.
It's an awesome device. I love this device.
So for St Paddys day I colored my junk green and got a little hat for him....wanna see it before I sober up....
I feel a little uneasy about having my grandma sleep in my bed that I've banged chicks in not too long ago... Fuckin blizzards
The hotel had a helipad. Of course we had sex on it.
I'm trying to blow this guy down here can you please get my husband out of the house.
We still on for Manwhore Monday?
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