Michelle and I recorded her bunny humping it's little rubber black ball.
Note to self: when drunk try to remember that ctrl, alt and dance doesnt exist on a keyboard.
This is one of those situations that make me think to myself "what life decision did I make to get here"
Isiahs hammered. And just came in to get his skateboard and said he has to prove something. This can't end well
Would it be out of line to take a picture of all the earrings, rings, hairclips, and other miscellaneous girl items that I found under my bed and post it on facebook and tag all the girls that I slept with this year so they can claim their shit and get it out of my house?
I'm sorry, you're actually right. Ostrich racing happens, and they're ridden like a horse. Bewildered and distraught.
our jesse-walt dynamic is actualy really perfect because i want to start a small time drug empire and you want to get high a lot its very accurate
you can't tell me not to come to work cause roads are bad then ask me an hour later to come in and expect me to be sober
My fridge is empty and all of my food is in the bathtub. Just.. Why?
Your friend gave me you're number. I was the guy locked behind the book shelf.
I think you have the wrong number, but I hope you escaped your library-prison?
Let's put it this way, there's not many girls I wouldn't let sit on my face
You just sent me an audio message of you peeing. That’s true love right there.
How weird is it that 2 people I've had sex with have the same birthday and they don't even know each other
dude pick up your phone
i cant. im high and theres a wild turkey in my backyard. wouldnt miss this moment for anything
She demanded to see my stimulus package, I had to go over.
Randomize
