Betty ford says i'm here all night
i was born a porn star she said
I hate fucking guys that don't drink coffee. My morning hangover and shame will not be cured by your stupid tea.
I think we need to stop being best friends, its not good for our vaginas.
I'm hoping to finish this bottle of wine before I pass out, I don't want the remainder spilling on my white down comforter.
There is a large, jolly black gentleman in the parking lot of my appartment complex yelling about 5am jelly doughnuts. I want to be where he's at.
it felt like i was a kid in an empty playground. i fucked him on every piece of furniture in the house and then when his housemates showed up i was naked in his bed like i'd been there all along.
well the blowjob for study guide exchange was a success.
You need to simmer down or I'm going to buy you a labia leash.
Okay. But I hope it isn't expensive lingerie. Because I'm ripping it off Hulk Hogan style.
Come to wine Wednesday bro. We have a fog machine
I was just sitting on the ground alone in fetal position shivering and chewing on my hand when she found me. ecstasy was not my best idea.
Two women at the Safeway just got out of their separate cars and kissed. One was driving an outback, the other a CRV. It was like a Honda and Subaru had a lesbian joint venture and filmed the commercial in front of me.
I just want to pat him on the head, bake him some cookies, and reassure him that, someday, he will get laid.
I'm afraid I might run into that fat chick that sucked on me in the hospital parking lot while her friend cried in the car next to us, but I may be willing to take that chance.
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