He chugged from a bottle of wine and then we had pretend sex
How do you have pretend sex?
It was bad...so it was pretend
I'll start drinking again when I know where I am
it was a sick party until you insisted on putting on "that's how I beat shaq"
We've been fucking since Friday.... This is the most committed non-committed relationship I've ever been in
that's the last time we turn jepordy into a drinking game.
dude just did a line with screech. dude is fucking creepy
The last thing i remember is saying breakfast beer and carrying the keg to my room and locking the door.
You stood outside his house all night throwing your sister's leftover Easter eggs and singing 'now you're just somebody that I used to blow'
Ginormous penis in the breeze, cumming champagne showers into your eye
I'm really stoned in my underwear. I probably won't make it to the bar.
We're both clumsy. What does this imply for our kids?
Helmets.
For a pair of gay men you destroy a lot of vagina.
the bandages come off on Tuesday. we can try out my new breasts then.
just so you know they found you begging for money at the L station. What the fuck did you drink last night?
The highlight of my week is I found some hetero porn I didn't completely hate. Branching out.
Randomize
