My birthing hips are way to big to be around all these juveniles.
I made myself breakfast and everything and then whoever's house it actually was came downstairs very upset.
I just feel like Im gonna be remembered as that one RA guy that used to sell weed
i'm about to say screw it and get drunk in the hotel by myself
It's 2 pm, at least sit by the pool...
I think I just used lyrics from the Sister Sister theme song to let a guy down easy...
he fell asleep like an hour after we got to the beach, he deserved that penis shaped sunburn.
Nothing says "I mean business" like using a cart at the liquor store.
Sorry I invoked the "everyones getting smacked including myself policy last night"
Dude, you vomitted into a trashcan wearing your bear hands and high heels. Your drug dealer even said that was rough.
I'm watching porn in spanish. Thats studying right?
I have a strong contender for the new number 1 position for fwb. He met me at the door with pizza and a shot of patron
Thinking about licking your asshole. And hugs and stuff too I guess.
This weekend I turned down sex to watch the Star Wars marathon... Is this growing up?
Nice. I got home at like 3am.stopped at Walmart for a vacuum and weirdly a trash can. Not sure why high me last night needed a new trashcan.
Why are there naked heterosexuals in my apartment?
Randomize
